So, most everyone who knows me personally puts me squarely in the ‘Liberal’ camp, though I don’t really identify with any specific ideology. I basically believe that you should be able to do whatever you want as long as it doesn’t adversely affect someone else. So why would I be telling my liberal buddies to shut up?

Simple: You are hurting your cause.

Let me explain using two examples, the first of which is very current: The latest Colin Kaepernick protest. Basically, Colin is complaining because the flag harkens back to an era where slavery existed. This is just dumb. No one is being oppressed by these sneakers; at least no more than they are for any other sneaker made in some sweatshop in el foreignland. The US flag is not a symbol of slavery in anyone’s mind except perhaps Colin’s. Him getting offended over this does nothing to reduce oppression, and in fact, will probably have a net result of increasing it, as it frustrates even ‘liberals’ like myself, not to mention those on the far right.

The second example is that of the offense brigade and social justice warriors all over the Internet. Let me give you a hypothetical case of what I am talking about. Say an older southern man opens the door and says “After you, Miss” to a biological female. This man has been taught his whole life to open the door for ladies (and by his Mother, no less!) because it’s considered polite. In the worst-case scenario, he’s doing it automatically, and in the best, he’s intentionally trying to be nice. Let’s say the biological female identifies as a male, and is dressed and groomed as such, but is still pretty obviously biologically female. In this scenario, if this transgender male gets upset about being called female or having the door opened, then the trans man is the asshole. Let me repeat this for everyone: If someone tries to be nice to you and you get offended due to shit going on in your own head, YOU ARE THE ASSHOLE. No one can read your mind. Furthermore, no one was trying to hurt you; you did that shit to yourself. Just because you are so emotionally unconscious that you can’t follow your own emotions back to their source does not give you the right to shit on someone else. Grow up. Because you are hurting your own cause.

And if you are an SJW, doing this over the Internet in response to hypothetical situations that you aren’t even involved in regarding people who only exist in debaters’ minds, you are the worst kind of asshole. You are hurting actual people while ‘defending’ people who literally do not exist.

You see, in all of these cases, you are generating resentment in a group of people who, at least for some of them, were probably favorably inclined to one or more of the initiatives you champion. Now, since you’ve built up resentment, they are more likely to swing hard in the other direction, possibly to the point of over-correction. At least this is my current theory (along with some help from uncle Putin) on how we ended up with such a complete sociopathic, blatantly criminal asshole in the White House. I just can’t believe most Americans are either that stupid or that hateful, but I can believe that most Americans make up their minds emotionally and then justify it with intellect. Largely, because that’s what study after study has shown (check out Thinking Fast and Slow if you want to deep dive on this).

Anyhow, this whole thing comes down to one truth: Extremism, in any form, is dangerous. There is power in diversity because diversity breeds adaptability and creativity. You can’t possibly make use of the solution you are unaware of. So, before you get on your high horse and begin ranting about something, try following this simple list:

1. Try to see it from the other side
2. Think very long and hard about what you are trying to accomplish
3. Think long and hard about how best to accomplish it
4. Pick your battles